“Hello my name is Black Ash and I I have the gift of healing. I haven’t been able to heal real injuries like that of the body, like cancer, sores, or the flu but instead I heal people’s minds, calm them. I have brought many out of depression, bi-polar disorder, and have one case of D.I.D. (Desocial identity disorder) Under my belt? In the past I get a very warm and pleasing sensation around my body, I call it the goddess gift of thanking me for my help! But recently I have been sick, very sick! I can’t even focus on a small circle! I’m not sure what to do. I have seen drs but they can’t find anything wrong. So I was wondering if there’s any thing I might of caught while healing someone else? And if so is there some thing I can do to heal myself?”
Healing and empathy are two different-but-related skills. From the sound of your description, you seem like an empath. Empaths can be senders or receivers. You usually hear about people who can feel what others feel, often leaving them overwhelmed in large groups and public places. However, empathy works both ways; some empaths influence others with their own emotions.
I’m a sender. I regularly get told I’m a “calming influence”, largely due to my natural state of calm rubbing off on other people. However, when I’m livid over something political or upset over someone’s passing, everyone I come into contact feels the same as me. This applies even when they have no interest in my political issues, aren’t told what’s going on, or haven’t met the person who’s passed away. As a manager at a bookstore, I watched the moods of my cashiers sour rapidly when I showed up to work with a fake smile to hide my anger; I had to consciously reign myself in to remove the “dark cloud” I’d brought in with me.
All of that aside, empathy can lead to healing skill. The ability to alter or influence the moods of others can be used as you described, to calm nerves or lift moods out of depression. With practice and focus, any sender can learn to guide others out of emotionally troubling situations.
As for the posibility that you’re taking in some illness, there is some precedent. In shamanic healing, the healer sometimes takes the negative energies of an illness (emotional or physical) into themselves. However, part of their process is to have a safe removal method, such as sending the energies into flames to purify or grounding for 24 hours after the healing in a focused ritual of self-purification. Either way, they have a pre-planned method of purification to avoid any residual damage or illness from their healings.
If you feel you may be taking in some negativity from your interactions with those you’re helping, you may want to look into methods of purging, cleansing, and grounding. Consider these options:
* Take a cleansing bath. Add salt and various cleansing herbs (lavender is a favorite of mine) to soak out the negativity. You can combine this with soothing music, or even add candles charged for cleansing or positivity.
* Do a cleansing ritual. If you’re into doing larger rituals with circles, elements, and all the bells and whistles, then consider a self-cleansing ritual. Ask each element to cleanse your being: Air for the mind, Fire for the spirit, Water for the emotions, and Earth for the body.
* Ground and center. Find a grounding method that works for you. One super easy option is to “hug a tree”. When you’re feeling energetically off or dampened, take some time to touch or hug a tree. They have very steady, grounded energies thanks to their roots; they can also take the unwanted energies and send them into the earth to be cleaned and reused. If it feels silly to hug a tree, you can sit at its base and meditate instead; visualize your connection, seeing its roots going deep into the earth.
Lastly, consider the mundane. You may just have a cold; doctors don’t always find the answer. Take a multivitamin, get plenty of sleep, and eat healthy meals. The idea “as above, so below” means that you can’t ignore the practical options while seeking magickal solutions.
Blessings, and get well soon,